A few posts back, we wrote about Pearl Jam and how even though they seemed like a band impervious to selling out, they’ve actually sold out.
Now a band once thought to be environmentally conscious is in fact destroying the planet. We’re all going to die from global warming and it’s totally their fault.
Environmentalists are claiming that U2’s 360 tour, scheduled to visit 44 venues scatter over our lifeless, barren Earth, is damaging the environment and consuming to much energy.
Some clever environmentalists have even surmised that U2’s trek will create enough carbon emissions to propel the band to Mars.
When Adam Clayton heard this he asked how many arenas the band would have to play to reach Uranus.
Enviro-critics believe U2’s tour is leaving a huge carbon footprint. Who cares about a carbon footprint, let’s hope the band doesn’t leave a Zooropa footprint. They shouldn’t play any song from that awful album.
Recently, while backstage at Wembley Stadium, Edge told a reporter, as he poured gallons of motor oil down a drain, "I think anybody that's touring is going to have a carbon footprint. I think it's probably unfair to single out rock'n'roll."
It’s unclear if fans at
U2 Atlanta or
U2 Houston will care more about the band’s carbon footprint—whatever that is—or whether or not they play “I Will Follow.” Besides we all know what they say about the size of a band’s carbon foot.
Edge responded to critics by saying, "…as it happens we have a program to offset whatever carbon footprint we have."
Neither Edge nor the band offered details on how they would offset their carbon footprint but we’re pretty sure it involves putting an end to Tire Burning Tuesdays.
According to some eco-nerds,
U2 would have to plant 20,118 trees to offset their “excessive and “wasteful” tour. It’s unclear where the band would find such a large parcel of land capable of sustaining over 20,000 trees, but we suggest Bono’s ego.
Before we start shoving saplings into the ground, aren’t bands like U2 the reason why our ancestors came out of the caves and risked being eaten by dinosaurs and enslaved by the aliens building the Pyramids in the first place. Isn’t seeing U2 in concert why we formed a complex society capable of burning fossils fuels and subjugating nature?
Seeing Bono and the boys perform in some giant, impersonal arena is one of the world’s greatest luxuries. If we can’t use a little extra energy and get a little carbon on our shoes to see U2 then we might as well pack everything up and leave.
Now, we’ve been treating this story with our tongue firmly planted in our cheek, but there are some who take this stuff very seriously. For instance Talking Heads frontman David Byrne is quite perturbed (i.e. jealous) over U2’s hubris (i.e. popularity).
“$40 million to build the stage and, having done the math, we estimate 200 semi trucks crisscrossing Europe for the duration. It could be professional envy speaking here, but it sure looks like, well, overkill, and just a wee bit out of balance given all the starving people in Africa," chuckled Byrne.
Don’t tell D.B. but the same fleet of trucks will be driving from
U2 Tampa all the way across the United States to
U2 Las Vegas.
“We'd love to have some alternative to big trucks bringing the stuff around but there just isn't one," said Edge as he was sniping at polar bears.
Maybe environmentalist will be kinder to U2’s upcoming re-issue of The Unforgettable Fire. The legendary Irish band is planning to re-release the 1984 classic with some previously unreleased songs.
One of the new songs, “Disappearing Act,” was previewed during Bono and The Edge’s recent appearance on BBC Radio 1.
U2 culled through The Unforgettable Fire sessions and discovered several unreleased tracks they found really exciting. The band put the finishing touches on these songs early this year while in France.
There’s no release date for the deluxe re-issue but the band says it will be out “later this year” after they demolish a couple of acres of rain forest.
Their 360 World Tour is scheduled to conclude October 28th in Vancouver, B.C. That is if the world is still around by then.
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